Inspired by Stephen Covey’s 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

The Lighthouse

An experience written by Frank Koch in the Naval Institute’s magazine – Proceedings:

Two battleships assigned to the training squadron had been at sea on maneuvers in heavy weather for several days. I was serving on the lead battleship and was on watch on the bridge as night fell. The visibility was poor with patchy fog, so the captain remained on the bridge keeping an eye on all activities.
Shortly after dark, the lookout on the wing of the bridge reported, “Light, bearing on the starboard bow.”
“Is it steady or moving astern?” the captain called out.
Lookout replied, “Steady, captain,” which meant we were on a dangerous collision course with that ship.
The captain then called to the signalman, “Signal that ship: We are on a collision course, advise you change course 20 degrees.”
Back came a signal, “Advisable for you to change course 20 degrees.”
The captain said, “Send, I’m a captain, change course 20 degrees.”
“I’m a seaman second class,” came the reply. “You had better change course 20 degrees.”
By that time, the captain was furious. He spat out, “Send, I’m a battleship. Change course 20 degrees.”
Back came the flashing light, “I’m a lighthouse.”
We changed course.

Subjective vs Objective Reality

There can be multiple realties, and I’m not talking about the ‘Multiverse Theory’ (which I also believe). I’m talking about perception – how multiple individuals can perceive the same event differently and each person’s interpretation of the events is their own reality. However, there can only be one objective reality.

In the Lighthouse anecdote, we see how the captain’s (limited) perception of events were that he was dealing with an insolent boater, only for him to come colliding with the objective reality that he was foolishly demanding a lighthouse “change its course.” The entire string of thoughts were the captain’s reality, but the objective reality was that they were on a collision course towards land.

Natural Laws are Objective Reality

Principles are like lighthouses. They are natural laws that cannot be broken…

“It is impossible for us to break the law. We can only break ourselves against the law.”
Stephen Covey
Cecil B. DeMille
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These principles or natural laws govern humans and are ubiquitous across all major religions, civilized societies, and institutions. They exist in all human beings.

Examples of principles are fairness, integrity, honesty, human dignity, excellence, potential, growth, et cetera…There may be vast differences in how these principles are defined and achieved, but their existence is universally recognized. Be careful not to mix up principles with similar sounding ideas.

Principles are NOT practices. Practices are specifically certain routines or actions and only work in specific circumstances. Waking up at 5am to go for a morning run, for example, may not be feasible for someone who works night shifts or who isn’t able-bodied.

Principles are also NOT values. Values are a shared ideology, only selectively agreed upon by certain individuals. A gang of thieves can share values of what constitutes justice or equity that are in direct violation of these fundamental principles.

Principles are indisputable truths, unable to be confused or misconstrued to be anything else. We may be able to chart, map, or survey our backyard, but that’s still fundamentally different from the soil, minerals, and rocks that it comprises of.

Sequential steps

Why is it that when we view our physical bodies, we never think about taking shortcuts – we know that we must put in effort to workout and train to improve ourselves. Even if we wanted to speed up our transformation by taking steroids, we’d still have to go to the gym for their effect to kick in.

Why is it then that when some of us see individuals or groups that possess, for example, personal strength, maturity, and integrity, that we immediately ask “How do you do it? Teach me the techniques.”

This line of thought is akin to asking for a quick-fix remedy. To want a shortcut, going from bench pressing 135 as your PR straight to 225. It’s impossible to do so, since you skipped many crucial steps that would build up your maturity, build up your integrity, or build up your upper body strength to get to that desired result. This Personality Ethic, that promises you this, is a lie.

Conclusion

We must embrace a new way of thinking: that we have to make the appropriate steps to build up to that person we want to be. “Adopt a principle-centered, character-based, ‘inside-out’ approach to personal and interpersonal effectiveness.”

[This new approach] says if you want to have a happy marriage, be the kind of person who generates positive energy and sidesteps negative energy rather than empowering it.

If you want to have a more pleasant, cooperative teenager, be a more understanding, empathic, consistent, loving parent.

If you want to have more freedom, more latitude in your job, be a more responsible, a more helpful, a more contributing employee.

If you want to be trusted, be trustworthy.

If you want the secondary greatness of recognized talent, focus first on primary greatness of character.

*** References ***

Covey, S. R., Covey, S., & Collins, J. C. (2023). The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change. Blackstone Publishing.